Show Notes
About the Guest(s)
Haley Moss (she/her) — autistic attorney, author, artist, and advocate based in Miami, Florida. Known as Florida’s first openly autistic attorney, Haley now works as an educator and consultant to corporations and nonprofits on neurodiversity and disability inclusion, and is a frequent commentator on disability rights. Her books include Great Minds Think Differently, Neurodiversity for Lawyers and Other Professionals, and The Young Autistic Adults’ Independence Handbook. Earlier works include Middle School: The Stuff Nobody Tells You About and A Freshman Survival Guide for College Students with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Episode Summary
What does independence actually mean for autistic young adults—and where does interdependence fit in? Haley Moss deconstructs the all‑or‑nothing notion of “doing everything by yourself,” offers practical life strategies (from grocery shopping to prescriptions), and lays out alternatives to guardianship with a strong emphasis on supported decision‑making. She closes with concrete ways educators can foster self‑advocacy at every age.
Read the transcript (auto-generated and edited with help from AI for readability)
Key Takeaways
- Independence ≠ doing it all alone. We’re all interdependent—needing assistance is not failure. Reframing independence helps autistic people access supports without stigma.
- Practical life skills matter. From stocking a basic medicine cabinet to refilling prescriptions or navigating an overwhelming grocery store, explicit instruction and scaffolds reduce anxiety and increase autonomy.
- Normalize mistakes as learning. Haley’s first‑week‑of‑college “washer/dryer mix‑up” story illustrates resilience: independence grows through trying, erring, and trying again.
- Guardianship should be a last resort. It can remove key civil rights (e.g., voting in Florida) and is hard to exit. Consider alternatives like supported decision‑making, representative payee arrangements, special/supplemental needs trusts, and powers of attorney. Laws vary by state.
- Center supported decision‑making (SDM). In SDM, the person with a disability remains the decision‑maker, with chosen supporters providing information and assistance—autonomy plus access to help.
- Teach self‑advocacy early and often. Meet students where they are, honor yes/no choices, and build success through small requests that are heard and respected (e.g., “pizza on Friday”).
- Include students in their IEPs. Student voice belongs at the center of planning; even simple statements (e.g., “I want to make female friends”) can guide meaningful goals.
- Create safe pathways to share needs. Try the “What do you want me to know about you?” prompt (written or digital). Responses can surface responsibilities, preferences, and resource gaps that shape instruction and support.
- Question cultural myths. Hustle/individualist narratives can drive unrealistic standards and justify segregation; support needs should not be a reason to exclude.
- Core message: You’re not broken. Needing support is human.
Resources
The Young Autistic Adult’s Independence Handbook.