Spreading the Message of Acceptance Through the Starabella Book Series ~ 201

Tim Villegas
Recording from my living room in beautiful Marietta, Georgia. You are listening to the Think Inclusive Podcast, Episode Three. I’m your host, Tim Villegas. Today I will be speaking with Marvin, Sharon, and Dana Fialco, authors of the Starabella book series.

Starabella is a new series of books about a very courageous little girl with learning differences who expresses her thoughts and feelings through music. The books are based on the real-life experiences of Marvin and Sharon’s daughter, Tara, who exhibited a surprising musical talent when she was very young but would later present perplexing challenges. Not able at the time to get a diagnosis, they were left with a mystery. Tara would not be diagnosed with autism until she turned 21.

Tara, now an adult, went on to earn a degree in early childhood education. The Fialco family and I discussed what it was like to observe Tara’s amazing musical talent and how she developed her voice through melodies and lyrics. Dana, Tara’s younger sister, describes what it was like growing up with Tara and what she has learned from having a sibling who is not like everyone else.

All this and more on the Think Inclusive Podcast. Thanks for listening.

Okay, I would like to welcome Marvin, Sharon, and Dana Fialco, authors of the Starabella book series, to the Think Inclusive Podcast. Thank you so much for joining me and having a conversation.

Sharon Fialco
Thank you so much for having us. We’re thrilled to be here, and we admire so much the work you do to spread awareness of the benefits of inclusion.

Tim Villegas
Well, it’s my pleasure. I invited you on because I wanted you to talk to our listeners about what a special thing you have with the Starabella series. To get started, how did you first get the idea about creating a book series called Starabella?

Sharon Fialco
My daughter Dana made up the name Starabella when she was around three years old. It happens to have my daughter Tara’s name right in the middle of it, so I feel this was something meant to happen before we were even aware of it.

My purpose for writing the series was to bring Tara’s dream of a bright new world of friendliness and acceptance to other children. I want children to feel safe and welcome to share what is special inside them to enhance their classroom environments.

Tara, now an adult, is a self-taught pianist and composer who deals with the challenges of autism. She was often teased and picked on in school and suffered consequential isolation. She came home to her beloved piano and wrote magical, touching melodies and lyrics about a far more accepting world than the one she faced each day. One of her songs, “Welcome to a Bright New World,” became the inspiration.

In this musical world, children play and get along and are accepted for exactly who they are. Tara went on to earn a certificate in early childhood education. I became her study buddy. Based on what we learned together, I wrote interactive shows for children incorporating Tara’s music. Tara and I made props and scenery and performed the shows in many preschools, kindergartens, and after-school programs. Dana often accompanied Tara when she was home on college breaks.

The Starabella stories arose from my observations of the social challenges faced by children in schools and programs. The stories combine our experiences with those of other children. Some of the words and characters in Book Three are the actual words of these children.

Tim Villegas
Thank you for that description. Dana, how was your relationship with Tara as she grew up and developed her musical ability?

Dana Fialco
Tara and I were fortunate to both be very musical as children, which enabled us to have a special bond. Being the younger sister, I was born into a world of Tara’s music. I always loved to sing, and Tara played the piano as her lifeblood. Our house was always filled with magical music.

Tara would teach me her songs. She wrote magical lyrics about going to a bright new world. We loved to make recordings together with a cassette tape player. We’d make up our own radio shows. At that point, Tara loved to tell stories and share her music, and I was the one who was there—so whether I liked it or not, I was going to be performing her music. Luckily, I did like it.

As we got older, we started performing more formally. We had a regular gig on Friday nights at a local shopping center. Tara would play her keyboard, and I would sing. When Tara was 13, her music matured, and she started writing songs with popular music potential. Around that time, I started writing lyrics to her music. One of our songs, “A New Beginning,” was born when I woke up one morning with the lyrics in my head. That’s when we began collaborating as songwriters.

Tim Villegas
That’s amazing. I’m also a musician, so I understand how sometimes things just come to you. It sounds like music was already in your family—it just sprang out of who you were.

Dana Fialco
Absolutely. Like the character of Starabella, Tara used music to express her feelings. She didn’t always know how to express herself verbally, so music was how she communicated with us. Unfortunately, Tara was exposed to a lot of cruelty from other children. But she always infused her songs with hope—songs like “Welcome to a Bright New World” or “I Can Find a Gym Full of Happiness.” It was her dream of another world.

Our parents never expected any less of Tara than what she could do. They always motivated her to do her best. I grew up with that same sense of responsibility and motivation.

Tim Villegas
Marvin and Sharon, are you both musically oriented?

Sharon Fialco
No, not at all. Marvin has relatives who are musical on his side, but none of them are composers. When you mentioned music just coming to us without thinking about it—when we moved from our home in St. Louis to Honolulu, Hawaii, we brought my mom’s old piano. I never played it well at all. But in Hawaii, Tara took to it as if it was a part of her.

She started banging on the keys, making noise, driving us berserk. Then suddenly, we realized she was discovering the sounds the keys made. All of a sudden, we heard the miracle of melodies. She started to play all of her childhood songs, songs she heard on the radio, on CDs—even music she heard in the dentist’s office. Once, we went to a museum showing a Chinese film, and she came home and played the whole soundtrack. She said, “Do you remember that?” It was a miracle. She played music by ear and then began composing her own.

What instruments do you play?

Tim Villegas
I play piano, bass, and guitar.

Sharon Fialco
That’s great!

Tim Villegas
I learned piano first, around four or five years old. My parents enrolled me in classes at a piano studio, and I continued lessons through high school. That’s when I got into rock and roll.

Did Tara ever have any formal training in piano?

Sharon Fialco
Yes, she had many years of formal training. But her playing by ear always surpassed her note reading. She has her own personal style—it’s really quite beautiful and inspirational. Her music isn’t just inspirational; she wrote music as a child about the wonders of nature, her feelings, and childhood interests like her cat and the circus. Her music reflected both the world around her and her inner feelings.

In the Starabella books, Starabella is a little girl with learning differences who expresses her feelings best through music. The stories follow her through three phases of growing up: Book One features Starabella at home, Book Two in the community, and Book Three in a diverse, inclusive kindergarten classroom. Children follow Starabella, learn about her challenges, and root for her to reach her goals. They find empathy for her character and care what happens to her.

Tim Villegas
That was actually my experience with my daughter. She’s six years old, and when we read Book Three together, she was very interested in what was going to happen next. Are there any plans for continuing the story?

Sharon Fialco
Your question makes me very happy. I’m always excited to hear the response of children who do not have special needs to the Starabella character. From the responses we’re getting, children form great affection for her, which is what I hoped for.

We do want to take Starabella further. I’d like to write a book where the children in Starabella’s class prepare a multicultural luau for her birthday, introducing entertainment and food from their cultural backgrounds. My goal is to have Starabella discovered while performing as a rock star and traveling around the world with her musical messages of friendship and acceptance—as a global ambassador of friendship.

But our main goal now is to bring Starabella and her messages to children.

Tim Villegas
I should mention to our listeners that the Starabella book series—Books One, Two, and Three—are not your typical storybooks. When you open the book, there are words to read, but it’s really meant to be read in conjunction with the CD. Is that correct?

Sharon Fialco
Yes, the stories all contain an audio CD. They’re fully narrated by Dana, and the music is performed by Tara. Dana sings most of the songs and performs 13 voices of the various characters.

The focus of the book is really on the audio, but the stories come to life through colorful, kid-appealing art done by a wonderful illustrator named Anton Petrov. He lives in New Zealand, and we collaborated over the internet to create the artwork.

Tim Villegas
Yes, the artwork is beautiful. The narration and music are striking and engaging. When I did the book review of the series, I didn’t want to let my own impressions skew what I thought of the book without giving it to my daughter and kids to read. I experienced it with them and was pleased that they enjoyed it so much and were engaged right from the start.

I remember growing up listening to books on tape. Actually, not even tapes—I had a record player. I had Disney books like Robin Hood, Snow White, or Pinocchio. I’d put the record on, open the book, and it would play lines and music from the movie. It was a whole experience. That’s exactly what this reminded me of—an engaging experience with music, narration, and pictures. It’s much more of an event than something you read before bed.

Sharon Fialco
Thank you for telling your listeners that. One other aspect of the Starabella stories is that Book Three is interactive. Children listening and reading help the kids in Starabella’s class get to the bright new world of her dream, where children play, get along, and are accepted for exactly who they are.

Using a magical mirror in the back of the book, children can look at their expressions. If their eyes are shining like stars—like Starabella’s—they’ve made a friendly social choice to help solve some of the classroom’s social dilemmas. They send their friendly thoughts to the kids to help them get to the bright new world.

In Book Three, Starabella starts her day with great enthusiasm but is soon bullied and feels she doesn’t belong. She goes under a table and observes the social dilemmas of other children. One boy, Jeremy, has his features completely covered to open a discussion about differences. Children express what they think might be different about Jeremy—maybe he wears glasses, has freckles, or a different voice. They express their own feelings through that character.

These scenes are actual incidents I observed in schools where we performed the stories. The words of the children are their actual words.

Since Marvin is here and hasn’t said anything yet, maybe he’d like to add something?

Marvin Fialco
One of the exciting things about these books is that they contain wonderful messages but are also very entertaining. Children respond so well to the music, the art, and the messages. They appeal to all children—typical or with differences. They’re universal books.

These messages are very important today. It’s important that children understand others with differences or from different backgrounds. That’s the kind of community they’ll be part of. If they learn empathy early, hopefully by the time they’re adults, we’ll have a much better world. It’s been my pleasure to support my wife and daughters in this endeavor.

Tim Villegas
That’s wonderful that you’re able to support them. It’s definitely a great resource for families. I wanted to talk a little more about Tara’s early school experience. In Book Three, Starabella goes directly into a typical classroom. Was that Tara’s first experience in education?

Sharon Fialco
Tara didn’t get her diagnosis until her early 20s. That’s why we called the first book Starabella: Mystery Girl with Music. Tara had tremendous abilities, but also behaviors that were hard to understand without a diagnosis. She had talents that seemed to come from somewhere we didn’t understand.

Her problems in school weren’t academic—they were social. With determination, work at home, and tutoring, Tara made good grades. But her social communication was lacking. In those days, there was no enhancement or accommodation for her needs. She was in regular classrooms.

When I first went to observe Tara in preschool, I found her under a table—just like in the book. Parents often cry when they see that picture of Starabella under the table. They say, “That’s my son. That’s where I found him.”

I was always in schools advocating for her rights to be treated fairly. That experience motivated me to write these stories—to sensitize teachers to their responsibility to help children and stand up for them if they’re being mistreated. Back then, we were told, “Children will be children,” or “If we help your daughter, she’ll never learn to take care of herself.” Things have evolved since then, with programs to stop bullying and promote inclusion.

Tim Villegas
There is a sense from certain educators—and it’s kind of an old-school way of thinking—that certain behaviors or things children do are seen as something to be corrected. If we let them behave or think a certain way, we’re “letting them get away with it,” instead of supporting them in who they are and their strengths.

I’m seeing a shift in that thinking, but I think it’s either generational or based on how long someone has been teaching. It’s just a different mindset about learning differences.

Dana, did you and Tara go to school together at some point?

Dana Fialco
At certain points, yes. We were in the same school when we were younger, and later on, we were in different schools.

Tim Villegas
When you were in the same school, did you notice if Tara was treated differently by educators or administrators? Did they treat her the same as you, or was there a noticeable difference?

Dana Fialco
I can’t say I observed her educators with her too much. We were a couple of years apart, and she was older, so we weren’t in the same classrooms or even the same recess periods. I was still in elementary school and didn’t have enough awareness to really discern that.

I did witness her being picked on sometimes. But most of what I knew about her experiences came from her or from our parents, rather than from direct observation. However, when we played with neighborhood kids, I definitely noticed times when she was treated differently.

Tim Villegas
I noticed you wrote an article on the Starabella blog where you described autism for a young child. Was that for a group of elementary school kids?

Dana Fialco
No, it was actually for my boyfriend’s niece. His mother asked me to explain autism to her granddaughter, and that’s how the article came about. I was happy to see how popular it became and how many people responded positively to it. It came from the heart, based on my experiences with Tara.

Being her sister, we had a connection that many people don’t get to have. I’ve always felt like I understood how she thinks, how she responds, and how she processes information. That helped a lot in our work together, especially when performing.

Tim Villegas
For those who haven’t read the article, could you summarize how you explained autism?

Dana Fialco
Sure. I explained that sometimes people with autism don’t process or understand information from the outside world in the same way as people without autism. Tara would often say that the signals in her brain got confused. Because of that, people with autism might not approach making friends or participating in group conversations the same way others do.

But it’s important to understand that their feelings inside are the same as everyone else’s. I always knew there was a certain pathway that had to be taken for information to get into Tara’s brain. Once it got in, she understood it very well and could retain it for a long time.

I saw my mom working with her as her study buddy, figuring out how to translate information in a way Tara could understand. One thing I noticed as a sibling was how Tara responded to noises or bright lights. The scene in Starabella where she’s at the circus came directly from our experiences. Bright lights and loud noises could be overwhelming for her.

Often, people see a child with autism reacting strongly to something and don’t understand that it’s coming from fear or pain. It’s not just a tantrum. And many people with autism have great talents—music, art, math, science. Everyone has something to offer, just like we say in Starabella.

Some of the greatest discoveries in the world have come from people who saw things differently. That difference doesn’t mean something is wrong. It can be something very special.

It’s also important that we don’t just try to make people with autism conform to society’s expectations. We all have an obligation to adjust our own thinking and see the value in different ways of being. We need to connect with them just as they’re always trying to connect with us.

Sharon Fialco
If you had asked me whether Dana ever had resentment—like some siblings of children with special needs do—I think she could talk about both the negatives and the positives of growing up with someone who has differences.

Dana Fialco
Sure. One of the greatest gifts I’ve had from my experience with Tara is that I’ve always appreciated the gifts I’ve been given. Our parents raised us to always do our personal best. We were seldom compared to each other. It was always about doing our own best.

Of course, there were times as a child when I didn’t understand Tara’s behavior. She required a lot of attention—my parents and grandmother spent a lot of time studying with her. As a small child, I sometimes thought that meant they loved her more or that she was more talented or smarter than I was. Those were real feelings I had.

But there was always tremendous love between us. Looking back as an adult, I mostly see the benefits. There were times when I felt embarrassed by her behavior in public, especially since there wasn’t much awareness of autism back then. But I also had to grow up quickly and gain perspective early on.

I remember thinking that other kids at school worried about trivial things, while I was seeing the real challenges Tara faced—both in learning and in how other kids treated her. That gave me a strong sense of empathy and perspective.

I’ve never been careless with myself or my abilities. I’ve always appreciated what I have and what Tara has. As an adult, I think it’s helped me relate to a wide variety of people and understand different perspectives. That’s a huge benefit in the workplace and in life.

I didn’t feel the need to fit in as much as some teenagers do. I think that came from having a sister who was such an individual. There were times I felt alone because I didn’t want to burden my parents with my own problems. But as an adult, I’ve been able to talk to them more about what we all went through as a family.

Tim Villegas
It’s clear that your love for Tara—and Sharon and Marvin, your love for her—is very strong. It comes through in the way you talk about her and in the books. I just wanted to make sure you knew that.

We could talk about Tara for much longer, but I want to wrap things up. I’d like to ask each of you—Marvin, Sharon, and Dana—what’s one thing you want listeners to take away from this conversation or from the books?

Marvin Fialco
Thank you, Tim, for giving us the opportunity to express our feelings. I think the most important thing is that if children learn these messages at an early age—messages about empathy and understanding differences—we’ll all benefit. These books are not only educational but also entertaining. They offer great music and beautiful art. They’re a wonderful experience for children and caregivers alike.

Sharon Fialco
I’d like to quote Starabella to show her philosophy on inclusion. She says at the end of the series:

“Remember, all people are special and have something to offer. When you are their friend, you make the world a better place. And you’ll love yourself for loving them. And everyone’s eyes will shine like stars.”

Dana Fialco
Building on what my parents said, I think with the tragic levels of bullying we see today, it’s so important for kids to learn to love and accept themselves. Starabella can help all kids—not just those with differences—because anyone can become a victim of bullying.

It’s important for kids to have the courage to be individuals and to stand up for others. They need to listen to that good voice inside themselves, the one the Starabella series always talks about.

Tim Villegas
Thank you, Dana. This conversation was wonderful. I hope everyone listening got something out of it—I know I did.

Before we go, can you share where people can find you online?

Sharon Fialco
Our website is www.starabella.com. That’s spelled S-T-A-R-A-B-E-L-L-A.

Tim Villegas
And you’re on Twitter as well?

Sharon Fialco
Yes, we’re on Twitter under “Story Says,” and we also have a Facebook page. People can look up Starabella on Facebook, where we advocate for autism awareness.

Tim Villegas
Thank you, Marvin, Sharon, and Dana Fialco, for joining me on the Think Inclusive Podcast. Good luck with the books and everything beyond. Hopefully, we can follow up sometime and see how everyone’s doing.

That concludes this edition of the Think Inclusive Podcast. Remember, you can always find us on Twitter @think_inclusive or on the web at thinkinclusive.us.

Today’s show was produced by myself, talking into USB headphones using a Mac Mini, GarageBand, and a Skype account. Bumper music by Jose Galvez with the song “Press.” You can find it on iTunes.

You can also subscribe to the Think Inclusive Podcast via the iTunes Music Store or Podomatic.com—the largest community of independent podcasters on the planet.

From Marietta, Georgia, please join us again on the Think Inclusive Podcast. Thanks for your time and attention.